GUESS WHO!!

So over the weekend I had the chance to see my long lost brother Siale. He lived with us while I was growing up and became a part of our family. He was with us through my parents divorce and stuck around during some of the hardest years of our lives. Us Jones kids owe him a lot for his support and help. Siale has been living in Australia with his wife and two kids so it's been about 6 or 7 years since I had seen him. I was brought to tears when he showed up at my dads house over the weekend. I truely missed him more than I can put into words.

Lately

Lately, everything has been great. I've got some great friends in SLC and an even better family that I miss everyday! Johnny and I have been talking, trying to identify all the problems we had before and alter them... I believe it's possible to make it work with eachother because we both obviously care a lot but we will see how things pan out in the end. I'm growing my hair back out again (it'll take a while) because winter is coming and I need some ear warmth if I'm still going to be in SLC! Trust me, it's going to look hideous for a bit until it gets to a length I can deal with. I'm not excited.

I interviewed for a new position at Kipp and Christian (where I work) to be a legal secretary for three lawyers and I find out next week if I got the promotion. I'm praying it all works out. Only God knows what's best for me right now, so I'm putting my faith in him.

Here are some pictures from the last couple weeks. Enjoy!


GO UTES!!



Kristina and I doing the "sweet bro" pose


My friend Heiti and I doing the "asian tourist" pose


Friends watching the Utes v. Utah State

Follow Me!

Hey Ya'll friends and family. You can now follow me on twitter! I post lots of great quotes and things, plus new pictures all the time. Yes, I am becoming quite the social networker! All you need to do is go to the link below (copy & paste)and start following. Love you all! xoxoxo

http://twitter.com/haleybee

Flowers!

I have discovered that flowers are an incredible way of telling someone you love them. I received flowers from my dad for no reason on Friday afternoon at work. They came with a story about cherishing life and a simple note that said "I'm proud of you". I have to say, I felt loved. Thank you dad for making my day special, and my apartment smell better too ;)

Oh The Days of Summer 09'

I'm making a new goal. I'm going to start updating my blog more often. I have been terrible at this whole blogging thing, but thanks to my sister Jenny, my page is a little more appealing (she did all the design work) and hopefully it will inspire me to write more.

I made it to my 35 day mark (a couple weeks ago) and I must say... time flew. I feel better than I did when I wrote my first post and I think I've gained momentum and strength throughout this summer of the "single" life. I have been very fortunate to meet new friends and have my families support during this difficult summer. Things are looking up. No, I'm not over my ex unfortunately but I have been dating and I've had some weird experiences in that field. Men are weird to say the least.

Anyways, I thought I'd post some pictures and of what I've been up to this summer so far, and what I've been doing to keep myself busy.

Nate and I went to WICKED in the spring (courtesy of Gary R. Jones) and we had such a great time! We were there early so we did a photo shoot with my iPhone... here are just a couple of them. You can definitely tell we are siblings in the first one...we call that face the "own it" face. Don't ask.









This next one is a picture from the Britney Spears/Pussycat Dolls concert. I went with two of my best friends, JT Thorpe, and Chad Braithwrite. This is us outside the Energy Solutions Area after the concert was over.



I've been to a few concerts, most of them just casual no name bands but there is a place in SLC called Red Butte Gardens where these concerts are held and it is the most spectacular stage! It's an outdoor stage and so you bring your own picnic and blankets, relax on the grass, and enjoy the music. Here are some pictures from the times I've been up there this summer. And yes, those are my dads feet, and they are metalic blue... I made him paint them.











I have a very sweet relationship with Johnny's (my ex) little sister Jamie. We go out on a girl date about twice a month. I usually try and take her somewhere she can learn something from so this time I took her to the museum of natural history. She LOVED it....obviously.











Okay lets see, what else. I went to bear lake with my dad and Aunt Tammy. My cousin Isabel will deny this but I totally tossed her off the jetski. Also, my friend Stevie from California came into SLC for a weekend, I went to Wendover with my grandma and grandpa, bought a new white cruiser bike, played with my neices from NYC, went to Vegas with my friend Kristina, and caught a few pictures of polygamists outside my office one Monday morning. PHEW!



























AND THE SUMMER ISN'T EVEN OVER YET!

Coming soon: New poems I've written lately.

24

So, I've made it through another weekend and I'm down to 24 days. Things are looking pretty good and I'm working on a financial plan that should boost me up a little bit as far as money goes. I ran into Johnny at a concert last week and I was very polite and nice to him. I didn't want to have ANY contact, but that has been difficult due to "small world" syndrome here in SLC. Anyways, I kept my head up and I haven't allowed myself to break down too much...although, it's been very difficult.

I have been looking at dogs lately because my apartment allows them and I think it'd be a great way to get my mind off of things and a new beginning...especially after losing Watson (my puppy of 10 years). I can't decide if I should get a new breed, or if I should just stick to mini schauzters. I know that adopting one from the pound would be better but I haven't seen any that I feel like I could take home yet. It'll probably take some time but I'm excited! I think I need a little companion instead of a boyfriend.

This past weekend was really fun! I went to Bear Lake with my dad on Sunday and met up with my Aunt Tammy, Uncle Mike, Grandparents, and cousins. We had a jet ski and played in the sun allllllll day! It was exactly what I needed to relax, plus I got a huge raspberry shake at the end of the day :). Anyways, I'm keeping my head up, trying to stay positive.

31

So I've made it through the weekend and I'm feeling much better than last week. I stayed home for the 4th of July weekend and relaxed. Well, I guess I spent most the time in my dad's backyard laying out in the sun, reading, swinging in the shade, and hot tubbing. I told myself at the beginning of the weekend that I was going to meet new people and branch out. I did exactly that.

Friday night I met a whole new group of people through my friend Celeste at a place called "Gracies" here in SLC. They were all so nice and it was really easy to get to know them without any awkard moments. I've realized that I've been in a bubble for almost a year! I love meeting new people and I always have, I missed it.

Anyways, I hung out allllll day Saturday with the same group of people by a pool and then we had a BBQ and played volleyball (I injured my hand pretty good). I met some nice guys and I'm actually supposed to go on a date with one of them tonight. I think it will probably just be a friendship thing but I'm excited because he's really funny and named his dog after the Utah Jazz....gotta give that a chance. haha

Sunday I spent the day with my dad. We went roller blading in the park and went to a play in the evening. I walked into my apartment last night smiling from ear to ear. I couldn't help it! I'm discovering a new me and feeling so much better about life. I'm still working on my goals but I'm thinking things can only go up from here. YAY! Keeping a positive outlook on things has helped me lately so I'm going to keep making my positive thoughts a reality.

35 Days

I have officially set a goal. In 35 days my life will be better. In 35 days I will know who I am again and what I'm working towards. In 35 days I will be OVER my ex boyfriend and the people who have brought me down and focused on myself. In 35 days, I'll be happier all the way around and closer to God.

Since I last wrote things got crazy and completely turned upside down in my life. Long story short, I've moved around a lot since February and I've even lived out of my car. I've blown all my savings on deposites for new places to live, car expenses, boyfriends that don't deserve it, and food to keep me alive. The only thing that has stayed the same is my job. I still have my job and I'm still there for 9 hours every day earning a paycheck. My relationship with my dad was rocky but it's looking up, and my relationship with my mom has always been good...I just wish she was closer. NONE of my siblings live in Utah anymore so that in itself has been difficult. I stopped praying for a while and lost my closeness with God which I don't recommend to anyone. In just the past month I've been dumped twice by the same guy, moved into a one bedroom place after living with him, drove to California in the middle of the night due to a mental/anxiety breakdown and I owe everyone and their dog money for helping me with all the transitions I've gone through. Okay okay, I just owe my parents money and credit card companies, but still, it hasn't been pretty. I am at a point where I don't feel like things can get much worse (even though I know they probably could) and I'm struggling to wake up everyday. I spent a lot of time and effort getting off anti-depressants and now I'm about ready to swallow an entire bottle. Sounds fun eh?

So, now I can explain the 35 days. I've decided that I need to stop feeling bad for myself and give myself a challenge instead. So, self, I'm giving you 35 days to turn your life around. No excuses. Just do it.

I am going to allow my dad to take over my finances for a period of time and give me an allowance each week. I've GOT to pay off some debts. I am not going to talk to anyone who is a bad influence or makes me feel less than I am for 35 days at least....probably more, but it's a start. My physical health has been good the last few months but I'm gonna shoot for an even healthier physical body, no more feeling sick! And lastly, I am going to start praying all day...be in constant meditation and start listening to my inner self.

I know 35 days doesn't seem like a huge amount of time but I didn't want to do anything too extreme because I get overwhelmed easily....especially with all the circumstances lately. IT IS TIME TO TAKE CONTROL.

Writing helps me a lot. It helps me empty what I'm feeling inside so I can fit better things into my brain. I am like a lot of writers, I am inspired when I'm sad or depressed. Sounds crazy, but if you pay attention, there are a lot more sad stories and poems than there are happy ones. That being said, I am going to be sharing some of the things I've written in the past months on my blog. No body get alarmed! Alot of it is sad but I need to do this as part of my 35 days of getting better. I need to release ALL the things I've kept inside and re-build. My life needs not just change, but POSITIVE change, and I am going to make it happen. 35 days to a better life starts now.

This past weekend I had the best day of my entire life! I went to California to see my best friend Stevie for his birthday and within a period of 24 hours I don't think I ever stopped smiling. I landed in SLC at about 8:00 on Friday night in the LAX airport. I had worked all day with little sleep the night before and still had the bags under my eyes and weight on my shoulders from a long week. It only took a few seconds for all of that stress to disappear when I saw Stevie standing at baggage claim with his arms open wide. I ran over to him and gave him a HUGE hug but we both had to pause and laugh at all the funny looks we were getting. Stevie drove me to my mom's house in Rialto CA, and it was so good to see her. I had a sense of relief when I walked through that door and embraced my mom. I didn't want to let her go. Watson (my dog) has gotten so fat I didn't even recognize him! His face looks like it's growing into his neck and he can hardly breath anymore. It made me sad to see him like that but I know he is well taken care of and loved. He has had a wonderful life for a dog so far, not to mention all the treats he gets. Anyways, mom and I stayed up for a couple hours and had tea and toast before we hit the sack. We talked about all the usual things, work, clothes, movies, boys, and family. When I lived in California my mom and I always sat around the table at night with tea, toast and girl talk. It made our relationship much stronger and I had forgotten how much I miss that tradition.

The next morning I suprised my mom by waking up at 8:15am. I used to sleep until noon when I lived there before but I can't anymore because I've had to get up so early with my job. I pulled my hair up and we went out to run errands in the 75 degree weather...I LOVE the california weather during this time of year. We grabbed some breakfast and got a couple pedicures from the infamous "Dianna Nails". It was the perfect start to a perfect day.

In the afternoon Stevie came back to my house to pick me up so we could go have his birthday lunch with all of our friends. I got to see a bunch of people I hadn't seen since I left California but most of them are exactly the same. After lunch we all went to Victoria Gardens mall to go shopping. I have a special place in my heart for that mall because that is where I spent most of my time working and it is also where I met most of my friends. We shopped and shopped and shopped until about 5:00, then decided it was time to get ready and head to Hollywood. We got all dressed up and drove to Hollywood in a brand new silver Mustang convertable with the sun on our faces. We decided to go to a place called Boulevard 13 which is a swanky dinner place that has a really great dance floor. All of us had so much fun dancing into the night. We left at about 1:00 in the morning and drove down Hollywood Boulevard blasting "You are the one" by Shiny Toy Guns and singing at the top of our lungs. By the time I landed on Stevie's bed (Stevie slept on the couch mom)I was wishing the day wasn't over, except I was so tired I couldn't keep my eyes open. I immediatley fell asleep with a smile on my face and woke up realizing that it was time for me to go back to SLC. I was so sad to leave so quickly but I will never forget those 24 hours and the people I got to spend it with. Initially I went to celebrate with Stevie for his birthday but I had such a good time, I could have sworn it was mine. Thanks mom and Stevie and everyone else that made it the greatest day of my life...so far.

Writing

I write a lot in my journals. Mostly I write random thoughts, feelings, or questions I have about life but occasionally it forms a poem or a song. I wrote this one a little while ago and thought I'd post it. I'm going to start posting more of the things I've written, but here's a first.

As I sit here quiet and secluded, IT has finally taken it's toll. This feeling has come over me and IT is more real than anything I have ever felt before. IT is stronger than desire, love, or even grief. IT has become the poison in me, the poison I crave. IT, in ITself has peirced my armor and left me questioning my ideals and my emotions have come to match my envious green eyes. As I bite my tongue, I feel my pulse and thick moisture rushing down my throat, this becomes the only physical sign of my interior fury. IT has blinded me and left me feeling insecure and shaken. Maybe this is God's way of telling me I am no longer callous but IT has become what I despise most in others and myself; Jealousy.

New Do

So everyone has been very curious what my hair looks like now that I've chopped it off! Here are a couple of recent pictures from the weekend. Let me know if you like it short or long better! I can't decide....